Chris Rock Reveals How Housewives Play Their Husbands | Netflix Is A Joke


(audience laughs) – Oh man. The older you get the more shit you learn. One thing, the gangster-ish shit in the world. You learn, nothing more gangster, nothing smarter, nothing more powerful than a housewife. Housewives are the smartest
motherfuckers on earth. People think it’s the working woman. No! Suckers work. (audience laughs) (Chris chuckles) That’s right. Smart people find other
people to work for them. (audience laughs) That’s right, that’s right. They got the ‘Housewives of Atlanta’, they don’t got the Workin’
Bitches of Atlanta. (audience laughs) Nobody would watch that show. Yo, housewives are bad motherfuckers, boy. ‘Cause a housewife has
convinced her husband, that it’s his house too. (audience laughs) There’s a lotta guys out here right now, think they own a house. Think it’s they house too. No. She took that house years ago. And the kids were in on it. (audience laughs) That’s right. S’right, the housewife’s
a bad motherfucker, cause you know, housewife
gotta little time, so before daddy come home, the housewife gets the kids together and they rehearse a little play, (audience laughs) that they do when daddy get home. It’s like, “Okay, daddy goin’
be here in five minutes, you know your lines?” “I miss you, daddy.” “Good, good. “You say that soon as he walk in, okay? “I need you to grab his
leg and don’t let go. “I’m gonna give him a
big piece of chicken. (audience laughs) and when he fall asleep, we
go back to havin’ our house. Ha, ha!
(audience laughs) (audience applauds) That’s right, fellas. You don’t own a house. If you live with a woman, you don’t have a house. That is her fucking house. Only man that owns anything
is a single man, ‘kay? And fellas, here’s the test, right now. If you really think you own a house, this is the test. Okay fellas, tonight, when you go home, I want you to try, I want you to try, fellas, when you go home tonight, I want you to try, to hang up a picture of your mother. (audience laughs)
(audience applauds) It’s your house, right? Give it a shot. (banging microphone) “What’s that?” “It’s a picture of my mother.” “I don’t like that frame.” (audience laughs) You’ll never see that picture again. (audience laughs) Maybe at your mother’s funeral. (audience laughs) She’ll go, “Look what I found.” (audience laughs) Motherfucker (Chris chuckles) Yo, ladies, if you have a good husband, gotta a good man, hold on tight. Or another woman will take your husband. They’ll take ’em. There’s women in here right
now with stolen husbands. (audience laughs) You know who you are. (audience laughs) You’re like, “That bitch was slippin'” (audience laughs) That’s right, hold tight or another woman will take your man. Fellas? You don’t really gotta worry ’bout that. Nobody’s taking your wife. Oh, don’t get me wrong, they’ll fuck your wife. (audience laughs) Oh, they’ll fuck her good. They’ll fuck her better than you. But they not gonna take her. (audience laughs) There’s no guy goin’, “Yeah,
I want her to yell at me, “the way she yells at him. (audience laughs) “I wanna live in a house with
no pictures of my mother.” (audience laughs) Oh, they’ll fuck her. And then they’ll return her. (audience laughs) “I believe this is yours. (audience laughs) “Bitch had me feelin’ bad ’bout myself.” (smooth R&B music)

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