Jack Pitches to the Writers – 30 Rock


-You guys want to have
a one-minute dance party? -Yeah! Good idea.
-Crank it, Toofer. ♪ -Grown and sexy from your head
down to your toes ♪ ♪ You know you’re fine ♪ ♪ Got that perfect face,
a perfect shape ♪ ♪ And perfect smile ♪
-Yeah, shake it. Feel the music. -[ Clears throat ]
-Oh, Mr. Donaghy! -No, please, finish your dance. -Oh, we were just taking
a little break, and we all love
the music of Chamillionaire. -I see. If you don’t mind, I’ll just
observe from over here. -You will? Why? -Are you familiar with
Six Sigma? -Oh, yeah, it’s a special kind
of G.I. Joe. -It’s Frank, right? -Yes, sir.
-Yeah. Frank, Six Sigma is the elite GE
executive training course. To master just its basic
concepts, one must brave a five-day conference
at a Sheraton. Six Sigma says
that a manager must understand every aspect of the business
he or she oversees. -Which means?
-I’ll be in here every day. Soaking it up. So please return to work
and act like I’m not here. -Okay. Let’s, uh, get into Toofer’s
commercial parody. We were trying to think of
a funnier cereal name. The favorite options
so far include Honey Bunches of Sadness,
Oat Bung, and Swaztik-o’s. -Uh, Fruit Lupus.
-No. -Dingleberries. -Fart Nuggets.
-[ Laughs ] I’m sorry. That’s really great. -Okay, let’s just think
for another minute. Frosted Mini Guns. -Lucky Bastards? -If you don’t mind,
I think we all really laughed at Fart Nuggets, so could we
just move on, please? -Every day, huh? -You guys want coffee? -Oh, yeah. -So, I was doing some research
on comedy, and I came across the cartoon strip “Dilbert,”
and it’s quite good. And I was wondering
if we could do that. -Do what?
-Dilbert. -You guys want coffee?
-Oh, yeah. -No, no, no, you can’t say that. Jeb Bush is a friend of mine. -Who should I change it to? -Sean Penn.
No, Barbra Streisand. He guns it.
Girl falls into the water. -You guys want coffee? -So we circle back,
looking for her. Remember, it’s pitch black out. The boat hits something hard. And you hear kind of…
Eeewww! And Brokaw says, “Just go.
Don’t look back.” Now, I’m not a writer, but maybe
there’s a skit in that.

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